Category: Parenting

Attributes of God That Moms Are Not Called to Emulate

We’re not supermoms, and we were never meant to be. By God’s good design, we’re dependent creatures, and we look to the Lord for “life and breath and everything” (Acts 17:25).

April 21, 2025 by: Katie Faris

Mom Superpowers

If you could have any superpower as a mom, which would you choose? Maybe you’d like the flexibility to be everywhere at once—watching over your children at home, school, practice, and all the rest. How would you like to read your children’s minds or have the capacity to get your to-do list done every day and still have time and energy to spare?

While those abilities are tempting, we’re not really supermoms, and we were never meant to be. By God’s good design, we’re dependent creatures, and we look to the Lord for “life and breath and everything” (Acts 17:25). Nevertheless, sometimes we move through our days acting as though we are self-sufficient, everything does depend on us, and we really are in control. We can even feel like that’s what’s expected of us.

As moms, we need to remember that only God is God and that this reality is a good thing. While there are some attributes of God that we’re called to emulate, others belong to him alone. Understanding and embracing this truth can transform our parenting.

Only God Is God, and That’s a Good Thing

Just as our young children depend on us, we depend on God. But though our children should grow increasingly independent as they age, we moms are never meant to outgrow our dependence on the Lord. It’s when we resist this reality, when we insist on doing things our way, that there are problems. However, a humble recognition of who God is and who we are (and aren’t) leads to our rescue from this false sense of self-sufficiency.

There’s no one else like God. Scripture says he is incomparable:

There is none like you among the gods, O Lord,
     nor are there any works like yours. —Psalm 86:8

To whom then will you compare me,
     that I should be like him? says the Holy One. —Isaiah 40:25

Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity
    and passing over transgression
     or the remnant of his inheritance?
     He does not retain his anger forever,
     because he delights in steadfast love. —Micah 7:18

We can’t label God or stuff him into any of our boxes. Our words fall short in describing him. Yet our Lord chooses to reveal himself in his word. American author and evangelist A. W. Tozer defined an attribute as being “whatever God has in any way revealed as being true of Himself,”1 and studying God’s attributes is one way to get to know him better for who he truly is.

Knowing God by Studying His Attributes

Though God is one, and we can never truly separate his attributes from one another, looking at them individually is an attempt to wrap our finite minds around God’s infinite, mind-boggling nature. When we do, it’s helpful to distinguish between what theologians call God’s communicable and incommunicable attributes.

Many of God’s attributes are communicable—meaning that they’re meant for us too. God communicates, shares, and passes them on to his people. As 2 Corinthians 3:18 explains, “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.” There’s this mysterious transfer that takes place. As we behold God, as we spend more time in his presence and get to know him better, we become more and more like him. Examples of these attributes include God’s love, patience, goodness, and gentleness. As moms, we’re meant to imitate these virtues and increasingly display them in our parenting.

As moms, we need to remember that only God is God, and that this reality is a good thing.

But God’s incommunicable attributes are all his, and he doesn’t share them with anyone else. They include his self-existence, self-sufficiency, incomprehensibility, eternality, unchangeableness, and sovereignty, as well as the fact that he is present everywhere, all-powerful, and all-knowing. These attributes offer great hope and freedom to believing moms.

Why Does This Matter?

God has both communicable and incommunicable attributes, and both are important. But what difference does it make to us, as moms, that some attributes only belong to God—that they’re not meant for us, and that we aren’t called to emulate them? God’s incommunicable attributes yield three practical encouragements—as well as many more—to moms:

1. We don’t have to be supermoms.

More than anything else in my life, motherhood has illuminated my need for God. It’s revealed my weaknesses and limitations, showing me what I’m not and will never be. And though I can be tempted to feel guilty and discouraged, or even to compare myself with other moms who seem to have it all together, the Lord’s teaching me that there’s a better way. Our very limitations can lead us to the Lord and his sufficiency (2 Cor. 12:9). We moms can’t do all the things, be everywhere at once, or say all the right words; but God is all-powerful, present everywhere, all-knowing, and all-wise. We need him, and so do our families.

2. We can depend on our great God.

The results of parenting don’t ultimately rest on our efforts. Isn’t this good news? We lack resources, but not God. We lack power, but not God. And through Jesus, we can draw near to God in prayer (Heb. 4:16), casting our cares on him (1 Pet. 5:7), confident in his ability to do what we can’t do. We can’t change our children’s hearts, but he can. We can’t save their souls, but he can.

3. We can trust God.

When anxiety and fear about health, safety, choices, and the future weigh on our shoulders, God’s sovereignty reassures us that even though we feel out of control, God remains in complete control. Because he is good, wise, and powerful—and never changes in his nature—we can trust him.

Motherhood Is Holy Ground

Motherhood becomes holy ground when God uses it to open our eyes to see who we are—our finiteness, our dependence on the Lord, and our need for him—and to draw us closer to him. In a world where we often feel like we need to be the strong ones, God welcomes us to come to him humbly, as children: “Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 18:4). In God’s kingdom, humility and weakness aren’t frowned upon but honored, and the self-existent one welcomes us. So let’s go to him, pouring out our sorrows and asking him to sustain and help us.

We weren’t made to carry the weight of the world—or even the weight of our families—on our own shoulders. Rather, God’s incommunicable attributes free us from that burden and offer hope in someone—named Jesus—who is our true and ultimate hero. “He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power” (Heb. 1:3; see also Col. 1:15–17). Having rescued us from sin through his death and resurrection, our Lord’s power provides all we need for life—including mom life—"through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence” (2 Pet. 1:3).

Instead of emulating God’s incommunicable attributes, we worship him for being all that we’re not. We adore him for being incomprehensible and beyond our understanding, and we praise him for acting in incomprehensible ways, such as saving helpless sinners. Ultimately, we surrender to the Lord and trust him with our families.

Notes:

  1. A. W. Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy (New York, NY: HarperCollins, 1961), 12.

Katie Faris is the author of Every Hour I Need You: 30 Meditations for Moms on the Character of God.

Katie Faris (BA, Grove City College) is the author of God Is Still Good; He Will Be Enough; and Loving My Children. She is also a contributing writer to several blogs including the Gospel Coalition and the Focused Pastor. A pastor’s wife and mother to five, Katie lives with her family in New Jersey. To learn more, visit katiefaris.com.

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Practical Tips for Parents of Scrolling Kids

Kids today need to know that the real world has always been, and will always be, more awesome than any virtual world.

April 14, 2025 by: Brett McCracken

Healthy Spiritual Formation

I’m a parent of three young children (ages 6, 4, and 3) who are growing up in an age of ubiquitous screens. Like most parents in today’s world, I worry about how they’re being shaped by today’s technologies. Here are a few suggestions for practical ways Christian parents can encourage healthy spiritual formation in a scrolling age.

1. Mind what you’re modeling.

So much of how kids learn is caught, not taught. And it’s mostly caught by parents—a child’s primary models for life, from birth to adulthood. Parents in the scrolling age need to be mindful that it won’t work to tell your kids, “Get off your phone!” if you are constantly on your phone yourself. Do as you say. Let your words be reinforced by your own discipline. Ask yourself: Are you frequently filling every gap moment in your day with scrolling? At family meal times, are you on your device? Do you and your spouse put your phones away and engage one another in front of the kids, modeling relational presence rather than distracted half-attention? If your kids see mom and dad always tethered to their smartphone, they’ll naturally grow up assuming devices like this will be critically important for them too.

So work on your own habits, and let your actions speak as loudly as your words.

2. Place boundaries around devices.

Limits are not legalistic or cruel. They’re loving. If you put boundaries around your kids regarding how far away from home they can ride their bikes, or how many cookies they can eat for dessert, do you also put boundaries around the when, where, and what, and how long of screen usage? Arguably, the hazards of screens pose greater risks to your kids than bike-riding or cookie-eating. In his book, The Anxious Generation, Jonathan Haidt’s big point is that we tend to overprotect our kids in the “real world” and under protect them in the virtual world.

Consider these practical ideas for putting guardrails around your kids’ scrolling time:

  • Designate times during the day when screen time is allowed and when it isn’t. We let our kids watch a little TV while they have breakfast, and then usually after school for a bit while they have a snack. But in both cases, it’s a limited period and then it goes off.

  • Limit your kids’ media or scrolling activities to common rooms or areas where they can be closely monitored. Especially once they get older (but increasingly, even at very young ages), the things they are tempted to do on screens in bedrooms or private spaces are very dark and damaging.

  • If your kids have their own devices, consider device lockers or secure storage where they must be kept at certain times of the day.

3. Vet the voices.

So much of spiritual formation has to do with where we’re giving our attention. What feeds our minds feeds our souls, and what we give our limited attention to has profound power to shape us. Are you aware of the voices, podcasts, YouTube channels, and influencers your kids give their online attention to? Be proactive in vetting the media they consume, knowing it’s usually not a one-and-done but an ongoing process of being tuned in to what their watching and who they’re listening to.

4. Suggest alternative activities.

It’s a mistake to focus only on the “what you can’t do” aspect of digital habits. Parents need to creatively suggest “what to do instead” alternatives that are fun, compelling, and healthy for kids. We created a list that we put on our fridge, detailing about twenty ideas for activities not involving screens: reading books, doing puzzles, building a fort, playing with sensory bins, painting, board games, practicing Scripture memory, singing worship songs, hide and seek, etc. Yes, these activities can often lead to messes requiring cleanup. But protecting your kids is more important than protecting the house’s cleanliness. And part of protecting kids is helping them grow in analog wonder, boredom-fueled imagination, and tactile creativity. As Read Mercer Schuchardt argues in his chapter in Scrolling Ourselves to Death, we need to encourage young people to be tangible participants in life, not just scrolling spectators of it.

5. Get them outside!

Kids today need to know that the real world has always been, and will always be, more awesome than any virtual world. What they can see in the sky, and touch in the dirt, and smell in the garden will always be more interesting than what they can scroll through on their screens. Most kids have an ingrained curiosity that leads them to explore nature, climb trees, catch grasshoppers, and make mud pies. Let them. Encourage it.

Work on your own habits, and let your actions speak as loudly as your words.

God’s creation is an underrated source of Christian wisdom1, and time outside is something many experts note is crucial to childhood development2. So send your kids into the backyard for unsupervised play. Let them run around in local parks. Hike mountains as a family. Trek through forests. Go often to lakes, rivers, oceans. Look for wildlife. Plant whatever fruit trees, herbs, and vegetables that grow where you live. Be attuned to the seasons. Geek out over the weather. Encourage your kids to notice the real world around them, and teach them from a young age that this isn’t just random evolutionary happenstance; it’s our Father’s world. He created it intentionally, for his glory and our good.

6. Don’t beat yourself up.

I often feel guilty that I’m not doing any of the above things enough. Even as I write books about the importance of healthy habits in the digital age, my own family can sometimes be inconsistent. I’m sure most parents can relate. We realize we’re scrolling on Instagram while our kids shout, “Come play catch with me outside!” Or one of them gets to the point where they have to yell, “Daddy, get off your phone!” These are ouch moments. And they can be helpful, convicting wake-up calls.

But parents today shouldn’t expect perfection. And when you’re on a plane or long road trip, in a quiet public place, or at a nice restaurant, don’t stress if you temporarily ease up on screen time to keep the chaos contained. We’ve all been there. You’re not a bad parent if you break your own “rules” from time to time. In most cases, the norm matters more for our spiritual formation than the exceptions. Missing church once in a while isn’t a big deal if our long-term norm is weekly attendance. Going a few days without praying or reading your Bible isn’t detrimental if the norm of those habits is consistency.

The same is true for digital habits: aim for consistency, but don’t expect perfection. And above all, seek God’s guidance in the process. Pray for wisdom and discipline, but rest in his grace.

Notes:

  1. https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/thestoriedoutdoors/episodes/Ep--17-Brett-McCracken-Senior-Editor-For-The-Gospel-Coalition-epvsgl/a-a4i6elk
  2. https://www.amazon.com/Last-Child-Woods-Children-Nature-Deficit/dp/156512605X

Brett McCracken is coeditor with Ivan Mesa of Scrolling Ourselves to Death: Reclaiming Life in a Digital Age.

Brett McCracken is a senior editor for the Gospel Coalition and the author of The Wisdom Pyramid: Feeding Your Soul in a Post-Truth World and Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community. He lives with his family in Southern California.

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